The Boat List
YOU MIGHT NOT BE A BOATER IF...
Bring spray sunscreen. This stuff stains industrial grade paint. This paint is designed for the worst conditions imaginable and to last for years. You think it's a good idea putting stuff on your skin that can permanently stain a boats paint and gel. coat. You’re special.
Glass bottles. Yes, we all know glass is better but is it really worth breaking on the boat and ruining everyone's boat trip you selfish bastard.
Try to help without being asked. If you feel you need to help in anyway don't. We all know you’re the best first mate/captain on your pond at home, but here you’re just getting in the way of a well-oiled machine that has been doing this job every day and not just weekends in the summer. Tell me again how many weekends you get in Boston during. the summer?
Not listening to the captain and crew This should probably be number one and. basically should be understood and covers all the other rules. The main job of a captain And crew is safety. By you not listening you put everyone's safety at risk.
Blacking out. At home, in a bar, during new year’s. These are controlled settings for blacking out.
Sure, channel your inner frat boy and show us
how many fireball shots you can do in a minute.
Here there are too many variables and your stamina can't beat the sun. Customs doesn't appreciate us bringing back smelly drunks.
Wearing shoes on the boat. I don't care that they are boat shoes. You’re still going to rub stains into the gel coat. If you’re not fishing lose the shoes. Also I am cleaning the boat once you leave and sand is a bitch. It's simple, once sand is in the boat it gets everywhere and on everything. Also if you could shave all your hair
off before hand, I would really appreciate it.
Playing music too loud. I like MY music. But if I have no control over it and you play the same five songs all day please don't blow my speakers out.
Walking around the boat while at speed. Don't complain about your broken leg when I told You ten times to sit down.
Using any sunscreen. "Why are the reefs so bleached and where are all the fish?" As you lather up for the 10th time this morning right before you jump in the water. Oil spills kill things. Why do you think you keep having to reapply your "waterproof" sunscreen? It’s not
waterproof, it's petroleum based. It’s simple,
cover up.
